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4 myths about child custody

On Behalf of | Apr 30, 2025 | Family Law

When it comes to child custody in New Jersey, many misconceptions can cause confusion. These myths often stem from misunderstandings of the law, personal biases, or incorrect advice. It’s important to separate fact from fiction when dealing with custody matters. 

Myth 1: Mothers always get custody in New Jersey

Many people believe that mothers automatically get custody in New Jersey. However, the law does not favor one parent over another based solely on gender. New Jersey courts prioritize the best interests of the child. The court considers factors such as each parent’s ability to care for the child, the child’s relationship with both parents, and any history of abuse or neglect. Both parents have equal chances of obtaining custody.

Myth 2: Child’s preference determines custody

It is often thought that the child’s preference plays a primary role in custody decisions. While a child’s preference can be considered, it is not the deciding factor. In New Jersey, the court will listen to a child’s opinion depending on their age and maturity level. The court will evaluate many other factors, and the child’s preference will only influence the decision if it aligns with the child’s best interests.

Myth 3: You must go to court for custody decisions

Many believe that child custody cases always require a court appearance. However, New Jersey encourages parents to work together to create a custody agreement through mediation or negotiation. If parents cannot agree, the court will make the decision. But resolving custody outside of court is always an option.

Myth 4: Custody means the parent with the child most often has control

Some think that custody solely relates to the amount of time a parent spends with the child. However, custody includes both physical and legal custody. Legal custody refers to decision-making authority over the child’s education, healthcare, and general welfare. A parent with primary physical custody does not automatically have legal custody unless the court specifies it.

Myth 5: Once custody is decided, it’s final

Some believe that once a custody decision is made, it cannot be changed. Child custody agreements are not permanent. New Jersey courts allow for modifications if significant changes occur. For example, if a parent relocates or the child’s needs change, the court may adjust custody arrangements. Custody can evolve as circumstances shift.

Understanding these myths clarifies how custody decisions work. It’s essential to approach custody matters with accurate knowledge and realistic expectations.

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